Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
a search helicopter?!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
