i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize