how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
