He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
