that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
