I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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