I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
