There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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