he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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