girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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