So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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