Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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