Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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