you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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