I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
