so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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