I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
