I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
