I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize