wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
