Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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