Do vagina's smell?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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