You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize
