we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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