Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
