I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
