after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
