i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
