just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
