The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
