If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize