I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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