It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
