He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
