Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
