'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
