oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm just crazy horny about you
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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