There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
