so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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