shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
