I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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