Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize