not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
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