What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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