My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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