please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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