Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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