oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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