No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
