It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We got so high we made milksteak
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
