What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
