Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
