honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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