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Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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