I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We left the knife in your bed.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
