Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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