Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
