Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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