i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i've created a new STD.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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