He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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