Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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