I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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