are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
