He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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