she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
