reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The Olympian is in my bed
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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