One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
