escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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