i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i believe in u and ur pee
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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