Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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