one might say we're banned from that church
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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