some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
should my penis look like a turkey
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
