Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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